


Hux’s Butt Pt.7

by Kat (The_British_American_Girls)



Series: Hux’s Butt Ficlets [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Calligraphy, Crack, Crack Fic, Hux’s Butt, It depends on your definition of romantic, Kylo does a kinda romantic thing, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mitaka never meant to get caught up in all of this, Mystery gifts, Phasma Ships It, Tatooinian Ancient Chanting Remixes, confused Hux, tired Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_British_American_Girls/pseuds/Kat
Summary: Ren asks Phasma for advice. Hux gets an unusual gift, and comes to a rather strange conclusion.





	Hux’s Butt Pt.7

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda crack-y, kinda fluffy I guess, if you squint or something lmao 
> 
> Thanks to everyone leaving kudos/commenting! It’s super awesome that you’re enjoying these ficlets! :D 
> 
> Phasma totally ships them, but that doesn’t mean she won’t try to mess up Ren’s plan to get them together haha

“Captain Phasma” Ren barked “I require your help” he stopped, standing next to her, where she was overseeing the latest lot of ‘troopers through reconditioning. 

“What with, Lord Ren?” She replied, bored of him already, but as she didn’t particularly want to be strangled to death, she decided not to show it.

“General Hux.” He began “you know, ginger, kinda tall, is the human embodiment of a cat” ‘and has a super cute arse’ he added in his head.

“I am aware of his existence, yes” she replied, wondering where exactly this conversation was going. 

“You’re the closest thing he has to a friend, and because of that, I need you to tell me things” Ren turned for a moment to look at the stormtroopers, before turning back. “What’s his favourite colour?”

“What?”

“I said, what’s his favourite colour?”

Phasma rolled her eyes, she knew exactly what was happening now. She’d seen the ~~eye fucking~~ glances when both thought the other wasn’t looking. 

“Blue” she said after a pause, “blue and green” 

‘Just like his eyes’ Ren thought to himself, then stopped. How did he know that?? Shaking his head, he continued:

“And what music does he listen to? His favourite food?” 

Now she was going to have a bit of fun. “He likes Tatooinian ancient chanting remixes, and his favourite food? Probably Sacorrian seafood.” Under her helmet, she smirked, knowing full well that Hux despised both of those things. 

“Thank you Captain, but one last question, what’s his opinion of me?”

“Stars if I know, my lord, only the General himself could tell you that” it was becoming almost painful stop herself from laughing, anyone with two working eyes could see how Hux felt, but _she_ wasn’t going to tell Ren that.

Already planning what he was going to do, Ren strode out in the direction of his quarters, yelling at a nearby officer to prepare him a long-range shuttle.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Hux woke several hours later, the ghosts of dream kisses still on his lips. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes, before checking the time. Kriff, he’d overslept, and by several hours at that! 

“Droid, bring me three cups of caf, this minute” he ordered, pulling on his uniform as quickly as he could without falling over, and combing pomade through his hair, then grabbing and swallowing all the cups of caf in quick succession. He immediately felt the caffeine begin to course through his veins. Sighing, he grabbed his greatcoat, slid it onto his shoulders, and marched out of the room. Or rather he marched to the doorway and almost tripped over a small box lying there. Bending down, he picked it up, wary of its contents. 

“Droid, scan this for hazardous matter” He murmured, placing it on its tray.

“No hazardous contents detected” the machine replied, and Hux withdrew the box from its grasp. Cautiously, he undid the ribbon holding it closed, and lifted the lid. 

“What the...?” He mumbled under his breath, gently lifting the chain out of the box to get a better look at it. A blue stone hung in the centre of it, caged with silver strands. 

“Droid, what materials is this made of?” he asked, holding it up to the light. 

“It is made of Shoroni Sapphire and Beskar.” It replied. Hux shook his head, still looking at the necklace.

“Beskar? But, that hasn’t been used since the Mandalorians were all but wiped out...” he thought out loud “Kriff, who’d give this to _me_?” Then he realised there was a note left in the bottom of the box. It read:

 _“To my favourite General,_  
_A gift that shall surely bring out the beauty in your eyes,_  
_From,_  
_?”_

It was written in swirly calligraphy, and on _real paper_ of all things. How in karking hell did anyone get this on board?? Stars, the price of paper had risen drastically since holo-tech became more widely used, so why anyone would waste it on a (love note? Strange gift letter?) Hux didn’t know. 

Carefully placing it back in its box, he strode to his desk, where he unlocked his hidden compartment and locked it again, this time with the box inside of it. 

As he left his room properly this time, he ran through a list of people it could be in his head. Ren was the first person that came to mind (annoyingly) but he dismissed him as a possibility, since there was no way in hell that Kylo kriffing Ren was patient enough to go to that much effort and learn calligraphy just to get with him. ‘Hmm’ he thought ‘what about the Lieutenant? Mitaka? He’s shy enough to leave an anonymous note, and had been working here long enough without purchasing much at all, so he’d have the money.... But it couldn’t be, could it??’ Pushing all thoughts to the back of his mind, he marched onto the bridge, determined not to let that distract him, but a plan was formulating in his head nonetheless. A plan that, unlike Ren’s, might actually work, and succeed in stopping this ~~crush~~ lust he had for Ren once and for all...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Kudos/Comments are always appreciated and keep us motivated! :D
> 
> Also, for anyone who’s interested, both Shoroni Sapphire and Beskar are (or were) canon in the SW universe (not sure if they’re EU or nah though) Though, as far as I know, Tatooinian Ancient Chanting Remixes don’t currently exist (unfortunately) lmao


End file.
